Pie, anyone?

Why am I struggling to get off the couch tonight? Ah, well that might be from the Pilates class I went to last night. Pilates. For the fit, for the trim, for the young. I eagerly went to try out a class, to see if I’d like to sign up—the perfect motivation I need to actually do it and not go buy a DVD that collects dust. The advertisement claimed that the class was open to all faculty, staff and students, but it was pretty clear that the room was full of dozens of adult teenagers and one actual adult, me. And this time, they knew it. (Apparently only grumpy old faculty members think I look like a student, actual students know much, much better.) “Well”, I thought to myself, “these kids don’t scare me. I can do this, I can do whatever I want, as a matter of fact they’ve got a thing or two to learn from me, so watch out!” And thus I began to engage them in stimulating conversation, “Is this like yoga? Because I’ve never done Pilates before, but I’ve done yoga so I wonder if it’s similar? Do you know? Have you done this before? Is it hard? Is it harder or easier than yoga? Have you done yoga? Have you? I have. Is this a beginners class? Do you keep your shoes on? Are these yoga mats or Pilates mats? Where does the instructor stand? Are you the instructor?” Etc. All brilliant questions, all answered with somewhat bewildered stares and polite single-word reactions. I was not to be deterred, it’s a free country (for now) after all. We eventually began, and I was relieved to see how much it is like yoga. I was keeping up with those young twiggy things and it was awesome, that hour was flying by, you could almost hear me roar. The instructor introduced a particularly tricky move, and as everyone around the room groaned, I wondered what their problem was. I was totally getting it, surpassing those effortlessly thin girls around me. I even started feeling sorry for them, they were really struggling, I was doing it twice, even three times as fast as them, those poor creatures, I was queen of the world! …or was I? Um, yes, it seems I was doing it entirely wrong, and higher, faster and bigger isn’t necessarily better, but it is higher and faster and bigger. Needless to say, tonight I went out and bought the DVD.

Where can you go to get the biggest piece of humble pie? Only in Utah…

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